I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
