well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
