my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
