halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She even gives head with a lisp.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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