I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize