the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
God gave him joint rollers for hands
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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