the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I have tasted many bathrooms
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
