Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
