The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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