is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
