chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
