he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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