Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
