You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
