We're facebook friends in real life
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
