so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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