Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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