just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
