Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
