fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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