Welp...herpes.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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