we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
