perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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