My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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