That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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