you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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