If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
