the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
