dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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