nut hugger
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I need to stop coming to work sober
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
