i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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