I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
