THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
