if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
