Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Randomize
