Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
