I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
