The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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