Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
