Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The feeling are messing with the penis
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
