so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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