the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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