I bet he comes in French.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
