her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
