Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
