she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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