He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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