I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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