so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
