Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
