At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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