i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
